Tension is high, settling is slow

7/8

Returning to Jerusalem from Tel Aviv, I feel a great deal of uncertainty--Walter and I still do not have our UNRWA IDs, thereby solidifying our jobs here and along with it our sense of general purpose. But nevertheless we are continuing with our preparations for the only aspect of our work that is nailed down--the English summer camp in the Al-Arroub refugee camp. 

We went to go meet with Hisham at his hilltop home in Arroub to continue planning the English camp which will be for 2 weeks, 5 days a week, kids aged 7-12. During our visit, I play chess with Hisham's older daughter (16), Lujeina, under shade of the woven vine awning over Hisham's front porch. I had not played any chess in forever, but feeling that sense of recklessness that having to meet up with new people PLUS really push myself with Arabic, I agreed to play anyways. Here is Lujeina:

I quickly remembered that a giddy and spontaneous mood aren't exactly conducive to a chess-playing frame of mind--kind of a downer. Hisham is still in the process of "testing" Walter and I in that he often teases pretty hard (something that is always very hard for me because it takes me so long to pick up on joking, sarcasm, etc.) and likes to play the Devil's Advocate in taking outlandishly controversial stances which we find out later that he doesn't actually espouse.

Lujeina starts off by saying, "I going to kill you in this game." Hisham warns her by saying, "Do not underestimate Americans, they are very clever." To which I laugh, still really happy to be playing and interacting and learning that Arabic chess doesn't have a "queen," but rather a "vizier" and instead of a "rook" they have an "elephant." But after I loose about half of my good pieces, and only taken a few pawns and a knight from Lujeina, Hisham points at me and laughs, "You are NOT like an American!" To which I just stutter like I always do when teased and try to look busy with something else. I only got worse, and so did the teasing. After checkmate, Hisham proclaims, "You come over here and try to beat us in our own land? No!" 

But in spite of all his agression, Hisham is very sensitive to the given situation. I suspected that I might not be doing the best job at hiding how uncomfortable I was when he said, "Your face is red? Why?" So he attempted to make amends by taking an almost fatherly disposition and observing something about me I think many of my past teachers (Mrs. Plosser!) might agree with, "Your thinking is good, but you moves is bad."

All in all, it is difficult to know my role and how I will present myself to Hisham and his family. 

After all this, Hisham decided to ask me the big "why"s: "Why are you here?", "Why did you choose psychology?", and "Why the Middle East?" Even though I think his questions were merely inquisitive, I was still on my guard from all the teasing, and Hisham's aggressive personality and his Arab bluntness didn't make the discussion any more comfortable.

Luckily, the conversation turned to religion next, a much easier and more comfortable subject for me. Hisham was joined at this point by Rania, his second wife, while her kids Ismail (8) and Abid (6), Hisham's first wife Huweida, and her kids  Lujeina, and Balqeese (14), listened in. I am very comfortable when Muslims grill me on why I am a Christian, what about Christianity is different from Islam, etc. Implicit in all their comments on our differences is "Why are you not weeping right now hearing about how beautiful Islam is?" but I had a lot of experience with that in Cairo.

After awhile, Hisham and I began to come down from the intensity of the religious conversation, to which Rania and Walter had been mostly just listening and the rest of the family only watching. Rania suddenly began to vent all of these conspiracy theories she espoused about Americans, the Jews, etc. and finally instead of listening and generally being open to even more radical sentiments (as Walter and I try to do), Walter said, "Your theories insult me." Rania eventually backed off as if she had been playing Devil's Advocate all along, but then suddenly began to talk about her situation as a Palestinian and the injustice of land that was hers being taken. What must have been very hot tears crept down her face and she looked over the refugee camp below us on the mountainside and kept repeating, "It's not theirs."

Above, the roof-tops of Al-Arroub